I think it was Johan Huizinga, who noted so many things about the Middle Ages, who noted that more than one Christian architect, captured by muslims during the crusades, was put to death for insolence after put to service to design a mosque and making it appear as a holy cross from the sky. If I recall correctly (and this was all before the Internet so nobody is going to check) the idea was this: If you build a church the way your daddy, the architect before you in your lineage of architects, built it, you don’t necessarily think of why you are doing what you are doing. Way back in the early days of churchy architecture, they started building churches to be in the shape of a cross (this is commonly known fact). This tradition was passed on and the details forgotten; churches kept being built like crosses but many of the builders didn’t really notice what they were doing. These captured individuals pressed into service to design and supervise the construction of the temple of a different religion appeared to be thumbing their noses at their islamic overlords, when really, they were just trying to get by without being noticed.

But then, hundreds of years later, an architect, for some reason or another, designed a Christian Science church to look like a dick from outer space.

One thing that is funny about this is the simple fact that you can’t possibly design a church that looks like a human phallus from the sky and not know it. This is what architects do. They design things that look a certain way from the sky. Or at least, several gazillion times, and for the vast majority of time they spend on a given project, they have in view, look at, show off to others, and dare I say, generally fiddle with the view of the building they are designing from above.

Have you ever been to an architect’s office? Have you ever been to an architect’s office that did not have current and past designs hanging everywhere like laundry?

Also note, a key motto used by the Christian Science church is “Rise Up.”

Also note, this is the Dixon Christian Science church. Enter Beavis and Butt-head stage left. Thank you very much.

The Dixon Christian Science Church has a sense of humor. It has fixed the view of their church from space using an age-old technique invented around the same time those Christian archetects were getting beheaded in Jerusalem by stodgy old fuddy duddies in Europe. They did this: