As you may know, I wrote a post, Women in Elevators: A Man To Man Talk For The Menz, in which I wrote:
I am not afraid of dogs, and most women are probably not “afraid of men.”
Except I’m actually afraid of dogs and most women are justifiably afraid of men. If you get what I’m saying so far, go away and do something useful because this post is not written for you. If you are puzzled, especially about the idea of women being afraid of men at all, then sit down, shut up, and allow me to slap you across the chops a couple of times with a little reality because that is what you need. Assuming you are a sentient adult and still have no clue.
Several people got really really mad at me because of that post … I literally lost a few friends … and they got even madder when I pointed out that getting mad at me for that post increased in my mind the chance that you are likely to be abusive to women. Holy crap. Anyway, it all relates to the whole Schrödinger’s Rapist thing. (See this recent post at Camels with Hammers for more on that)
Anyway, one of the responses to that post (and other conversations going on at the time) was to point out that a man saying that he recognized that women could be justifiably nervous about running across an unknown male on a lonely street at night was equivalent to saying that all black people are criminals. Or something like that.
Well, my bloggy friend Ian Cromwell who it turns out is a big scary black guy has addressed that issue, skillfully and engagingly, in a post called “Shuffling feet: a black man’s view on Schroedinger’s Rapist.” Go have a look.
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I didn’t get a shot at reading that the first time around, good stuff.
The street-crossing thing in particular was interesting. Where I come from, sidewalks mainly exist for you to be able to walk to the other stores in the strip mall, so the issue hadn’t really come up for me, but as I become better travelled, I’ll definitely keep that in mind.
Aye, I don’t believe I read that earlier post either. I didn’t feel uncomfortable personally because I think everything you said was bang-on. I do feel very uncomfortable whenever the ideas of rape and what women experience negatively simply because they are women cross my mind. Which is probably too frequently, in combination with other such concerns, for my mental health. Yet these things I would not put out of my mind even if I could.
Crossing the street – I didn’t know other people did that. I did it for quite a while before I even really examined why I did it. Being so biased, I approve and promote your idea (for use in appropriate contexts as you have noted).
You lost friends over that post? Wow. I would figure that the only sort that rather mild post would offend would be those who purposely shoulder others who are “in their way” while walking. Yeesh.
And the Crommunist – yeah, excellent post there.
Why do you state “I pointed out that getting mad at me for that post increased in my mind the chance that you are likely to be abusive to women.”? You’re just saying “hey guys im judgmental”. I suppose you’re confident enough to argue to your own expertise on the subject.
Equating the general male to a dog is not fair. Neither is forcing the rest of the world to adopt a new posture when/if you feel scared. As a male I am sometimes afraid of other males. I doubt this is anymore than a correct response to environmental situations.