Category Archives: Humor

What To Expect With The Super Blood Moon Eclipse

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A lunar eclipse happens only during a full moon. Some full moons happen when the moon is closest to the Earth, and these are called “Super Moons.” Under some conditions, a lot of light gets round the Earth’s shadow during an eclipse, and this is red light. All three are happening at the same time this weekend, which gives us the rare Super Blood Moon Eclipse.

Here are the things to watch for during the Super Blood Moon Eclipse.

  • Since the Moon will be VERY close to the earth, there is a risk of it running into things. For this reason, climbers will be held at mid level base camps on Everest and K2, and observation decks on large sky scrapers will be closed.
  • Since the Moon is a critical part of the Zodiac, a very strong Super Blood Moon Eclipse can rearrange it. This is how we got Gemini — that was originally two separate constellations. Astrologers at the National Observatory are concerned that during this Super Blood Moon Eclipse, Leo may be knocked into Capricorn, which could endanger the goat. If the worst happens, those born between December 22nd and January 2nd will be Sagittarius, and those born between January 3rd and January 19th will be Aquarius.
  • Tides will be affected. Instead of having two tidal cycles a day, the tide will remain high for a couple of days. This will have a negative effect on the availability of clam rolls in New England. The Governor of Massachusetts has ordered taco trucks supplied by FEMA to be deployed around the Greater Boston Metro.
  • Lunacy will, simply put, run amok.
  • Conservators working at megalith sites such as Stonehenge will be on high alert for the arrival of more than the usual numbers of Inferi and Zombies.
  • Black cats will turn a shade of dark greenish blue. It will wear off after a few days.

There will likely be other effects, but Super Blood Moons are unpredictable, and every time one happens, some new thing previously unexpected occurs. It is always a bad thing, so be prepared. Lock your doors and windows, and make sure your Mormon Closet is full of Spam.


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