Don’t get mugged by voting irregularities

So, today I was on my way to the pharmacy to buy important medicine for my son. The medicine cost about 50 bucks, and I had a fifty dollar bill in my back pocket.

In my front pocket, I had a twenty.

Just before I walk into the pharmacy, this dude with a mask comes along and says, “I’ve got a gun, give me your money.”

So, I hand him the $20. He grabs it out of my hand and runs away.

I went into the pharmacy, and as the pharmacist was preparing the medicine for my son, I called the police. A cop arrived within seconds.

The cop opens up his clipboard thingie to take notes, and I told him exactly what happened, every detail.

When I finished with the story, he tears the page from his notebook where he was writing up the report out, crumples it up, and tosses it into a nearby waste basket. Closing his clipboard thingie, he says, “Well, OK, then, I guess you won’t need to be filing a report.”

“Why?” I asked him. Just at that moment the pharmacist was handing me my change for the medicine, which ended up costing $48.57, and for which I paid with the fifty I had in my back pocket.

“Well, the guy mugged you, but that didn’t stop you from buying what you came here to buy, did it?” And he walks out, gets in his squad car, and drives away.


All elections should be audited. In some states, they are, routinely. Those are the states that ARE the sharpest knives in the drawer.

That is all, thank you very much.

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2 thoughts on “Don’t get mugged by voting irregularities

  1. I got mugged once. Two arabs asked me if I’d prefer they use their knives or have my arms broken.
    I had a big wad of cash in my shirt top pocket, which I really needed.
    Needless to say, I gave them the contents of my coat pocket instead (a used train ticket). Also a bit of lecture about the patriarchy and oppression of the working classes and how I stood with them in their struggle against The Man. They got bored and wandered off.

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