7 thoughts on “New Theories of Noah’s Ark

  1. “There is not a stitch of biblical authority to back up such
    an interpretation.”

    Since when has that ever stopped anyone anywhere from using the bible to justify what ever it is they want?

  2. Why not just use magic to kill all the bad people?

    There is a similar stupidity in Exodus, but an order of magnitude stupider.

    Pharoah is mean to the Jews, so God sets a plague on Egypt, punishing the Egyptians and Jews alike, but not Pharoah, who is filthy rich. But Pharoah cannot learn the lesson because God hardens his heart and won’t let him change his mind. So then God sends a second plague, same result. Obviously God is his own worst enemy. This goes on for eight more plagues and nobody has learned a thing. Finally, God softens Pharoah’s heart, allowing him to change his mind and quit being such a meanie.

    Ahem. Why not kick Pharoah’s ass, soften his heart, and let him learn?

    No, God doesn’t work that way. God engineers into his plan the perfect thing to defeat his plan. That’s how God rolls.

  3. @WTFWJD, I have often wondered that myself. This god character is the most incompetent, unimaginative, and bubmling character ever to get that name. It’s like he’s the retarded version of what a god could be. It’s almost as if he were a primitive, iliterate Bronze Age goat herder…

  4. There are a few points about the exodus story that I find interesting. Yahweh tells the hebrews to tell the Pharoah that they just want to go into the desert to offer sacrifice but they’ll be right back (pinky swear!). Then he tells them that they should “borrow” valuable jewelry from the Egyptians, promising to return it the next day (I don’t remember if this was a pinky swear).
    So this yahweh guy, after his whimsical plagues, tells the hebrews to lie and steal. What a god!

  5. OK History Punk. How exactly did Yahweh make this go down? Last time I checked my Bible and read the biblical mythologists such as “Dr.” Kent Hovind, DarkMatter2525 has got to be pretty close to how it would have happened, if it wasn’t just a freaking Bronze Age myth.

    “Now go **** your sister” LOL!

    P.S. Subscribe to DarkMatter2525’s channel
    http://www.youtube.com/user/DarkMatter2525

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