Texas is going to secede from the union! Seriously! The governor of Texas has laid down the gauntlet, and unless we get rid of that Black Guy as president and that Damn Woman as speaker of the house, it’s vamoose for Texas!
And I couldn’t be happier. Texas should not be part of the Union. Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons, but here are the top three:
- Texans are stupid. They bring our total national average down too much.
- Texans are regressive. Two steps forward, ten steps backwards, politically. I’d rather not live in the middle ages, thank you very much.
- Texans smell bad, look funny, and have kooties. I know that looks like three reasons but I think they may be linked.
Good bye, Texas!
(I can’t wait to see how this affects immigration policy in the US and the new Lone Star Country.)
You know, I got interviewed on the phone by a reporter from Texas this morning and I’m still washing my my ear out.
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Hey, if we lose Texas, then that means we lose the Atheist Community of Austin. That’d be a negative.
succeed? or do you mean secede? or did the gov write succeed?
Smokin’ deal for Texas, though — look at all the highways, military bases and equipment, etc. that the USA paid for and Texans get totally for free.
I mean, it’s not like Texas is going to assume a per-capita share of the US national debt or anything, just the goodies. That way, they can have private enterprise do it all without any taxes — and wasn’t this all about taxes after all?
Texas can finally put full-up Ayn Rand Objectivist Government into practice: no taxes for anyone (or at least none for the wealthy who make it all happen.) None of those stupid environmental regulations, and they can finally get rid of the 14th Amendment and the idiotic Voting Rights Act and all those other things that the Yankee Congress and idiot Yankee Administration put into place back in the 60s.
Just make sure that they take Oklahoma with them. Austin can stay, kind of like Berlin. It would be especially funny if Mexico annexed them, then, and (finally) leveled the Alamo.
Just bear in mind that the Dixie Chicks would end up as refugees after fleeing the newly independent Texas. It’s either that or risk being burned at the stake if they stay.
Wow, if Texas seceded that would automatically:
1. Significantly reduce the capital punishment rate of the US.
2. Significantly reduce the per capita incarceration rate.
3. Significantly reduce gun ownership rates.
4. Give us a huge export market for pickup trucks and SUVs.
and, most importantly,
5. Deprive GW Bush, Karl Rove, Tom Delay, and John Cornyn of US citizenship.
Not until they renounced their (born) US citizenships. On the other hand, somehow I don’t see the USA being all that generous on the dual-citizenship front.
I lived in Texas for several years, and it certainly has more than its share of wingnuts. But there are some areas where folks tend to be as reasonable as anywhere in the US: Austin, San Antonio, and Houston come to mind. By some measures, Houston is the most ethnically diverse metro area in the US, with no one ethnic group in the majority. Even though the Republicans redrew the Texas districts to maximize their representation in the most blatant case of Gerrymandering from the past decade, there are still many solidly Democratic districts.
How do you get 49 stars on the flag and make it look nice?
Spoken like a group of true morons…
Add Puerto Rico?
Wasn’t this plan originally prosed by Patrick Buchanan … to give Texas independence and a lot of weapons, to serve as a buffer between US and THEM (Them = Mexico)?
I think we have a general consensus.
Andrew: How much is seven times seven?
Take a look at Republic of Texas (group) on Wikipedia. I vaguely remember there was some shooting and someone killed a few years back. Texas today is a non-majority state, which some find stressful. We are historically one of the states which sends the federal government more in taxes than we get back. By historically, I mean since Sam Raburn and Lyndon Johnson.
Doh! So, I learned maths in grade school in Texas. So what.
Have you ever heard people from other countries saying the things you say about Texans, but about Americans? Lumping all Americans into one category with Bush and the religious right, and speaking like they don’t understand that there are plenty of us who are nothing like their stereotype of Americans? It bothers me, and since I am from Texas, it bothers me when people say those things about Texans.
We are not all regressive bigots. I know that it is a fact that we have a higher percentage of religious nut-jobs, fundamentalists, and conservatives than most states, but in reality, I pretty much never run into them. Almost everyone who I know is a perfectly rational person. In fact, I can only think of one person I know in Texas who has told me that he doesn’t believe in evolution. Like Edward said, we have a pretty diverse population, especially in the cities.
It bothers me, and since I am from Texas, it bothers me when people say those things about Texans.
It should bother you, and it is pretty much up to you to either save Texas or just leave and let it sink. When Texas does secede if you are of the right age there is a pretty good chance you will be conscripted, and if you are older and have a son of the right age he will be.
So you, since you are IN Texas, need to get working on this right way. Meanwhile, I’ll be here in Minnesota helping to keep up the much needed ridicule.
As a Minnesotan, (though transplanted) I am perfectly happy to listen to similar ridicule about our state. You’d probably want to focus on our governor. He’s such a dogmatic Republican that most of us Democrats pine for Jesse. The thing is, though, that Minnesota beats Texas in progressiveness and the relatively low slack-jawed moron yokel count by far. We are the only state, for instance, that has a very thoughtful, very intelligent, black muslim congressman. Not that I really want a Muslim (or any other religion) representing us, but can you imagine a black Muslin no matter how good he is being elected in Texas, and there are a lot more congressional seats in your state than here!!! (We have six).
We are historically one of the states which sends the federal government more in taxes than we get back.
This is apropos because the state that takes the most is Alaska, the other state where succession has been spoken about recently.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have just been informed that the number of members the Great State of Minnesota sends to the House has increased from Six to Eight. (This change happened at some time in the past, apparently).
Of course, we have only one Senator. Apparently we are the only state with one Senator.
Bachmann doesn’t count, though. She only talks to the right-wing media, so I’m thinking that’s her true constituency.
As a Minnesotan, (though transplanted) I am perfectly happy to listen to similar ridicule about our state. You’d probably want to focus on our governor.
That’s my point though. If I were to focus on your governor then it wouldn’t be similar ridicule would it?
I always knew the word as cooties, not kooties
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooties
Let Texas secede, but keep the Austin area.
Trey: I meant to focus on our governor, who we Minnesotans duly elected, as the problem. What kind of morons must we be do do this, etc. etc. I’m only calling you’all a bunch of low-life slack jawed chapps-sniffing numchucks because you elected this racist wackaloon shit-ass governor of yours.
New England Bob:
From the Urban Dictionary:
kooties
Unspecified but perceptible faults or deficiencies ranging from undesirable personality characteristics and poor hygiene habits to bacterial germs; used by preadolescent children to tease or impugn their peers, and occasionally by adults, usually with humorous overtones.
Comes from the game, “Kooties” as opposed to the organism Cootius vulgarus
Just to elaborate on my point a little, a similar criticism of Minnesota might be me saying that all Minnesotans are sore losers and cry babies because some of them support Norm Coleman’s appeals, while completely ignoring the fact that even more of them are happy that Al Franken has won.
Trey: Exactly. Such ridicule would get Minnesotand riled and this could lead to conversations about how to get rid of Norm Coleman.
But really, you’ve gotta know that huge numbers of Americans look at Texas and do not have what are exactly positive pleasant thoughts, and that this is because of the crap we keep hearing out of Texas. Meanwhile, huge numbers of Americans hear the word “Minnesota” and go “Oh, is that a state? Somewhere near … what’s that big lake?”
As a young Texan I’d just like to say that I sincerely hope Texas’s seccesion dosen’t prevent me from getting into a college somewhere far away from Texas.
“Lone Star ” does not want to tell fifty!
Actually it would mean no more Texas school-book nonesense.
Could also be an interesting experiment.
The problem with Texas is that morons from places like Minnesota and Michigan won’t quit moving here, and they bring their stupid and crazy with them. Yeah, we get some of the enlightened, but not enough to make up for the stupid and crazy ones. We could deal with our own stupid and crazy if we weren’t having to deal with everyone else’s too.
And for the record, some of us are doing what we can to make things better here. Sisyphus had it easy, let me tell ya.
Our governor is an idiot. Only 18% of Texans say we should secede. See? We isn’t all ignorant!http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/states_general/texas/in_texas_31_say_state_has_right_to_secede_from_u_s_but_75_opt_to_stay
I would not move to Texas for all the tea in … that tea party.
noel’s link also has some early polling for the next governor’s race, in which Rick Perry will be challenged for the Republican nomination by Kay Bailey Hutchinson, currently one of our US Senators. I can’t say I’m a huge Hutchinson fan, but she’s miles better than Perry–and those early poll results seem to agree. He may be getting a bit desperate to build up some kind of grass-roots support, as next year’s election is already looking pretty hopeless for him.
Let Texas secede! Who needs them! Screw them! Who want’s that pathetic sorry state to be part of our country? Let them go be a third world cesspool of a theocratic, free market corporatist fascist nation state. Go! And good riddance! And then let’s deport all our conservatives there!
Before people get all excited about watching Texas fail as an independent state, it’s worth remembering that they pay in more federal money than they get back, and that they may be able to do pretty well off of oil and gas exports, especially with no regulation to slow them down.
Think Alaska or Saudi Arabia. No need for good governance or tax policy when you have natural resources to get fat off of.
DeathAdder: I’m not without sympathy for your point of view, but it’s not really an issue: it’s not even what the great majority of Texans want. Not that that would matter. And please be aware that Obama won several of our most populous counties! Your venom is too broadly spread.
Scott: I was thinking the same thing. Perry must be desperate to be bottom trolling before the campaign season even begins.
Different scholars must treat dissertation thesis related to this good topic in a right way, because they need that a dissertation writing in a future life.