Do you know that this is National Poetry Month?Inspired by national poetry month, I’ve gone ahead and written a poem. I call it “Ode to Ben Stein” … but really, it is only a limerick.There once was an actor named BenHe wrote speeches for Nixon and thenDrank too much kool-adeWhile on a crusadeHe managed to become a has-been.
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Those who read the words of Myers know the fellow rarely tires,No surprise a film desires his opinion, strongly held:When they filmed him, on location, and they held a conversation,It was all prevarication?lies are where Ben Stein excelled.And producer, too, Mark Mathis, lying?s where the man excelled,For the movie was ?Expelled??From our schools and institutions, in a form of persecution,A priori, contributions from believers are withheld!The design of all God?s creatures should be what is taught by teachers!?With a cadence born of preachers, this the message that they yelled.They were close enough to whisper, true, but verily they yelled,And they made the film ?expelled.?Though they try to make it killer, it comes off a bit as fillerWhen they try to say Kitzmiller versus Dover really smelled.?It was purely propaganda!? you can read in memorandaBut the wedge-in-form-of-panda, as a weapon, never jelled,Though it may be through incompetence the tactic never jelled,And was properly expelled.It would really be terrific if Ben Stein could be specificAnd provide the scientific stuff with which his head is swelled.In the movie?s poor conflation, trading faith for explanationIs the path to guide the nation to the glory it once held;Back before the academics stripped the glory we once held,And the truth became expelled.Ben Stein?s ultimate solution is to hogtie evolutionBut it?s such bad execution the attempted coup is quelledStein is labeled as ?heroic?; thus his monotone is ?stoic?As he braves the Mesozoic, where the early cavemen dwelledIf we disregard the science, who knows when the cavemen dwelled?Any truth has been expelled.With a stolen animation, then a too-close imitation,These nefarious creationists the storyline propelled.All these lame attempts at spinning, from the end to the beginning!Lying once was seen as sinning, if the Bible were upheld?It?s too bad it?s inconvenient for those rules to be upheld,Now the truth has been expelled.?A conspiracy of science!? they?re still yelling in defiance,Though the truth is, their reliance on dishonesty has spelledThe demise of their position?and the crime?s of their commission;The withdrawal of their permission, when the opening was held,Because Myers tried to see it when the opening was held,Was intelligence expelled.So accustomed to their lying, now they do it without trying,These reality-denying little weasels are compelledEven if their reputation had a granite-firm foundationIt would face annihilation, like a mighty oak now felled,As it is, ?tis but a sapling, but the sapling still is felled,For the truth has been expelled.http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2008/04/poe-poe-pitiful-expelled.html
Expelled: A HaikuDarwin to HitlerBut who is going to buy it?Anyone, Bueller?
You misspelled Kool Aid, which as you can read by the wikipedia article, as an artificial substance cannot use the “ade” suffix.
I suggest you submit this to the limerick database http://limerickdb.com/ . I’d do it but I feel uncomfortable submitting one not written by me.
How about Vogon Poetry?See, see the Vacuous skyMarvel at its big mordant green depths.Tell me, Ben Stein do youWonder why the manatee ignores you?Why its foobly staremakes you feel discombobulated.I can tell you, it isWorried by your michkleschmit facial growthThat looks likeA cheese.What’s more, it knowsYour flart potting shedSmells of toad.Everything under the big Vacuous skyAsks why, why do you even bother?You only charm muensters.
This is stupid. The first two lines don’t even rhyme. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I think that I shall never seeUne filme D’institute D’iscoveryExpelled ’tis called; a travestyBlending bi- and the-ologyThe academics’ rational relianceCensors ecumenical science!Wait! instead for God to answerQueries to our world’s great cancersDispel this irony, can you–Where the ungodly censors are censored too?Expelled is made by fools, you seeLosers of Ben Stein’s money
(posted at Kevin Miller’s site and removed “for legal reasons”)Some company, Plagiarmation (*)Once copied a cell animation”inner life of the cell”it’s as blatent as hellso Notw we await litigationA comp’ny that really excelledat lying to rubes was compelledto exploit deaths of jewsand get in the newsa pile of shite called “expelled”(*) Not a real company. Kevin jokingly mentioned a company called plagermation which also doesn’t exist.
Eek!!s/No/Not/s/coma/compa/s/caller/called/
I did this before it was cool!Higgledy-PiggledyBen Stein’s no scientistMaking a movie whichprobably blows.Words can’t express how thisdocumentarianmisunderstands basicscience, Lord knows.