{"id":27613,"date":"2017-10-29T21:41:48","date_gmt":"2017-10-30T02:41:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/?p=27613"},"modified":"2017-12-05T21:25:28","modified_gmt":"2017-12-06T03:25:28","slug":"twas-night-indictment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/2017\/10\/29\/twas-night-indictment\/","title":{"rendered":"‘Twas the Night before Indictment …"},"content":{"rendered":"

‘Twas the night before serving, when all thro’ the house
\nCongresscritters were stirring, even the mouse;
\nThe indictments were hung by the Grand Jury with care,
\nIn hopes that Judge Emmet soon would be there;
\nThe children were nestled all snug with their lawyers,
\nWhile visions of men named sugar plum danced in their heads.
\nAnd Mueller with his briefing and Paul with his passport,
\nHad just settled their brains for a long winter in court
\nWhen out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
\nHe sprang form the bed to see the Federal Marshals
\nAway to the window he flew like a flash,
\nTore up the papers, then into the shredder,
\nThe moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,,
\nGave lustre to the no knock warrents to find objects below;
\nWhen, what to wondering eyes should appear,
\nBut a deposit slip from a Russian owned bank forgotten to burn.
\nWith that ol’ driver as quick as a feather;
\nWe knew in a moment it much be St. Mueller;
\nMore rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
\nAnd he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
\nNow, evidence collection crew, go right in here!
\nOn blue collar crime expert, these documents I’ll share!
\nTo the top of the pile of evidence so high,
\nNow dash away, dash away, put it all in plastic bags,
\nAs dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
\nEach exhibit gets a number and a letter, oh my.
\nSo up to the court house the coursers they flew,
\nWith the sleigh full of evidence, and some indictees too.
\nAnd then in a twinkling, I heard in the foyer
\nThe prancing and pawing of each little lawyer;
\nAs I drew in my head, and was turning around,
\nDown the chimney St. Mueller came with a bound.
\nHe was dressed all in a nice Italian suit,
\nHis clothes were not tarnished or messed up with soot.
\nA bundle of evidence was flung on his back,
\nAnd he looked like a lion just opening a buck;
\nHis eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry,
\nHis cheeks were like roses, he’d be liked by a jury.
\nHis stern little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
\nBut the kind with an arrow, just so you know;
\nHe shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly;
\nWith a wink and a twist he owned that grand jury;
\nHe spoke not a word but went straight to work,
\nFiled all the briefings, then turned with a jerk,
\nAnd laying his finger aside of his nose
\nAnd giving a nod, up to chambers he rose,
\nHe sprung to the sleigh to his team gave a whistle,
\nAnd to the judge they all rushed, like the smoke from a pistol;
\nI heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
\n“Plea bargains for all, except, well, most of you actually, because I’ve got this sack of evidence here, see? <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Twas the night before serving, when all thro’ the house Congresscritters were stirring, even the mouse; The indictments were hung by the Grand Jury with care, In hopes that Judge Emmet soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug with their lawyers, While visions of men named sugar plum danced in their heads. … Continue reading ‘Twas the Night before Indictment …<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27615,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5026],"tags":[4919,4920,1367,964,5020],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/NightBeforeIndictment.png?fit=647%2C457&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5fhV1-7bn","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27613"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27613"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27613\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27620,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27613\/revisions\/27620"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gregladen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}