Comments on: Sociosexually, what is “safe”? https://gregladen.com/blog/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/ Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:02:44 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.6 By: borealis https://gregladen.com/blog/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521071 Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:02:44 +0000 http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521071 Don’t women have friends who are men anymore? I’ve always called guys like that ‘friends’. Sometimes they have been interested in me a sexual way at one time, or may be in the future, or might be interested if it was a known option, but generally they are just guys I have known well for a long time, through various relationships of theirs and mine. We are friends, and might go to a gallery or camping or share a bottle of wine and dinner, and talk about stuff. As far as ‘safe’ is concerned, they are trusted friends, same as my female friends. I trust my friends to not do something that might upset me or make our friendship awkward, and I hope they trust me the same way.

]]> By: personbot https://gregladen.com/blog/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521070 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:45:28 +0000 http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521070 It would be easier to decide whose opinions mine were more like if you had actually contributed some significant explication, rather than a few somewhat vague examples.

But clearly she is talking about a more conventional urban/suburban situation where men and women can retreat to their (actually) safe homes. Thus, the designation of “safe” is clearly contextual. If you have to share close quarters with someone for an extended period of time, particularly in the name of an otherwise important experience, there is a real obligation to be considerate and not create awkward sexual tension if the feelings are not reciprocated.

]]> By: quietmarc https://gregladen.com/blog/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521069 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:08:21 +0000 http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521069 Haven’t read it yet, but this sort of thing is almost always context-related. I’m a safe guy to people who know me, but since I’m kinda big, have a beard, walk quickly and glare, I definitely -don’t- appear safe to a stranger on a dark night in a questionable part of town.

And of course, what something appears to be is not always related to what is.

Off to read the article now!

]]> By: Chad https://gregladen.com/blog/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521068 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:13:30 +0000 http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2010/07/29/sociosexually-what-is-safe/#comment-521068 Obviously this is a very culturally determined thing. This discussion could not happen in every culture, or even every subculture in the USA.

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