Somehow in this dialogue, when a girl is violated, not only do we instantly smother the debate with accusations against patriarchy, but we also deny the unaccountable voyeuristic and entitled perspective of the matriarchy. That matriarchy believes that children are their property.

Jason: I was here with you months ago–when I first saw your perspective on those issues–but your blog whoring keeps getting in the way.”I’m sorry. I can’t honestly read the rest of your post.”

We are only having this any conversation at all here because I noted earlier that you are one of those circular thinkers like a dog that chases its own tail. Everything comes back to Jason, furtively latching on to his tail, and when that doesn’t succeed, you run back to your blog and lick your nuts.

Most importantly, I said anything Ineed to say to you in my first post that referenced you, and in a nutshell, it is cuckolded guys like you who give guys like the rest of us a bad rap.

DuWayne: I was just about to mosey on down to your blog when I hit this sour note: “As much as I dislike Real,” and so I will do you a favor and let you ponder the question alone, as most men like yourself–a guy to whom similar things have very likely happened–do as they stumble through your feelings or pondering of violations against young males without my input.

But in a footnote to my own recent cause-effect relationship with young gang bangers across the street from my house, I will note that one guy is up on attempted murder charges ( the black guy with the bat) the Peurto Rican Vice Lord/drunk stepdad is out on bond, and the ‘kids’ have moved out of the house they were squatting, and none of them went to jail.

The mother/s to this brood–the real criminals here–are all still free, collecting state aid, and passing their wisdom of how to milk the state on to their daughters.

I am hoping in the mean time, that I can get a feel for the objective and honest feelings of others. I really want to know how people would have felt, had this happened to a boy instead of a girl.

And yes Becca, I find it repulsive and understand that it didn’t. But I think that it is a very good question to ask. As much as I dislike Real, I am quite glad that he asked the question – I will take it further than this specific issue, but I really do want to know how people would answer his question…

Why might I believe this?
Because I believe Savana Redding.
(From her affidavit: “After the incident, Chris Clark told me that when they searched him, they only asked him to empty his pockets, shake out his shirt, and shake his pants up and down. He was not asked to remove any of his clothing”)

Now, I suspect that the principal and other school officials believed they were acting rationally when they strip searched the girl, but not the boy (the female school nurse and a female teacher were the ones who actually carried out the strip search- it seems plausible somebody managed to justify the strip search to themselves based in part on the same-sex nature of the interaction). I’m sure they never thought to themselves “it’s ok to strip search a girl, because her body [like all female bodies] exists to be exploited”. And yet, their actions are entirely consistent with a patriarchy that treats women as objects.

This was a disgusting abuse of power, and would have been no matter what the genders involved had been. But the meaning of the event in a particular cultural context, as well as the outcome for the victim, *are* influenced by the genders involved.

The funny thing is I originally deleted the link, then decided that would be “giving in to the criticism” and put it back. I guess I just can’t stop my blog-whoring ways, can I?

Okay, question, Meme. If I were to stop tagging my URL in my name (which would take retraining some muscle memory, since I do it by clicking down-tab-down-tab-down-tab), would that convince you that I wasn’t merely some kind of blog whore, looking for hits? Especially since I only started my blog to keep in touch with my own personal friends, and to have a larger platform to vent on once in a while, and that my stats are about as high as they’ve always been (as in, my posting here and elsewhere with my URL is actually not a successful traffic-getting strategy, yet here I am, months and months on), and that I don’t run ads on that blog?

I suspect the answer is no, and that you’ve already formed an opinion of me during the first time you and DuWayne clashed while I was around; that, or because of how I suggested you were making baseless assertions back on my blog that first time you came over and called it a shit-heap with bits of corn in it.

I’m sorry. I can’t honestly read the rest of your post, which I’m sure actually does have some good insights I’m missing, because you’ve successfully trolled me to the point of being too emotional and knee-jerk to respond properly. This was my breaking point. So, I’m afraid any criticisms you have of me, whether they’re valid or not, are coming from a source I no longer see as valid. Anyone else here is more than welcome to tell me just about anything you’ve said about me, and I’ll probably take it and internalize it properly and try to self-improve.

Okay, question, Meme. If I were to stop tagging my URL in my name (which would take retraining some muscle memory, since I do it by clicking down-tab-down-tab-down-tab), would that convince you that I wasn’t merely some kind of blog whore, looking for hits? Especially since I only started my blog to keep in touch with my own personal friends, and to have a larger platform to vent on once in a while, and that my stats are about as high as they’ve always been, and that I don’t run ads on that blog?

I suspect the answer is no, and that you’ve already formed an opinion of me just because of how I suggested you were making baseless assertions back on my blog that first time you came over and called it a shit-heap with bits of corn in it.

Steph you make a noteworthy point about making a safe place for males to speak about being sexually abused by women, but I think far more progress could be made in this area if we use the definitions of abuse that we already have. One of the biggest problems that I have seen in this area, and several others have written about it, is that the biggest problem facing young children who are abused by women is that women essentially ‘own’ them or in the very least, have total and ultimate control over their destiny.

Whereas males have been defined in the literature and pop culture as expendable, and worse, ‘prone to abuse,’ women are still considered by the child as trustworthy, even when they are not.

So the essential problem here is non-egalitarian definitions of what is and isn’t a sex act, but also who is and isn’t an abuser. We are still operating on a model of Victorian era sexual repression where we pre-suppose that women do not have a ‘sex drive’, or other inate sexual impulses. That model also precludes that womens sexuality is expressed differently, and in other forms, which leaves us with a distorted model that not only perpetuates the myth of the penis as a weapon, but also that men are primary sexual beings.

In short, womens sexuality and sexual narrative expresses itself differently–we know this now,especially with thanks to the gay community, and other social revolutions, but we still refuse to infer the next natural logical outcome: that womens pedophilia is differently expressed as well. I suggest that this is not a unique idea, but one that we have yet to explore in the rhetoric.

Now comes confession time, just because my failing is so recent.

Last night, some loud boys next door to my house were arrested, and frisked by cops because I called them. In the case of loud boys it is important to distinguish between the kindergarten kid and the fifteen year old with a pistol in his pocket.

I have been babysitting several situations at that house for one year: the boom boom late at night with the beater cars, the young boys in the tribe who are honestly hustling a buck by doing yardwork, the drunken stepdad; but at the center of this universe is mom, dear old painkiller addict mom, who sits up in her house all day and does absolutely fucking nothing about raising her kids.

I have been watching diversity in action: the HUD house owned by the do-gooder ladndlady who works downtown at the Public Defenders office ( and G-d knows I adore those good hearted sharks, but..), the welfare check-fed kids, the whole she-bang.

I have fixed their cars, mentored them when I could, and finally had enough when the neighbor next door in the sex offender house brought out the baseball bat because those loud boys sold him bad dope. Instead of calling it in as a “fight” I called it in as a “homicide in progress”, and I got those guys frisked good.

I won’t even begin to describe the racial factors in play because that is part of the novel, but the Puerto Rican drunken stepdad with the gang of Native Pride/other kids in the house stabed the big black guy after he brought out the bat. The rest of the neighbors were somewhere behind the curtains acting like the people of diversity village often do–they did little or nothing, ever, while I was out on the block calling in the cavalry.

Sad to watch those boys through that, and even sadder that no one ever stuck up for a-one-of-’em when mom was dropping them out, or beating them for being “worthless mother fuckers”.

As for boys being strip searched and the considerably less outrage it would likely evoke, I will have a post up in a few hours. May even work out as an all out male positivity post…

And I think you’re probably ascribing way more malice to what I say than is actually there. I don’t know why you have such a problem with me, constantly, but please, ease off a bit.