There are certain thing you should do and certain things you should not do. But whatever you don, don’t do what Daniel Donno, visiting the Twin Cities from Wales (apparently) did in the wee hours of the morning today.

He had stolen a car (who knows why) and led the police on an extensive chase avoiding stop strips, and generally evading capture. Eventually, he got to the bridge on highway 63 that goes over the river into Wisconsin. The police decided to break of the chase (and, presumably, to call the Wisconsin State Troopers to let them know about the stolen car that just drove into their territory, tough I don’t know this for certain).

Not realizing that he was no longer being chased by the cops, but while the cops were still watching the bridge, Donno stopped the car and jumped into the river.

Annoyed, the police called the other police who rescue people from water. They went down the river in a boat and found him flailing around out in the middle.

Donno then refused to be rescued, so the cops got a bunch of boats around him and corralled him, then pulled him out of the water.

He will be charged with fleeing police, speeding, reckless driving, disobeying a stop sign, and car theft. The Coen brothers have already started negotiation with Donno’s agent to use his character in their next movie.

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9 thoughts on “If you are ever being chased by the police …

  1. I have heard that in the UK the cops pull people over differently, by pulling in front of them. A British comedian did a routine on this basis … getting pulled over, then driving along waiting for the cops to pull around in front of his car as he drove slowly along on the verge (that’s what they call the shoulder) for several miles.

    I wonder if something like that happened here, like frankb says. You drive to the nearest river and jump in.

  2. “don’t do what Daniel Donno, visiting the Twin Cities from Wales (apparently) did”

    You remember in The Simpsons, where Bart is confused by the title of a knife safety pamphlet called ‘Don’t do what Donny Dont does’?

  3. Lucky for Donno he wasn’t black. This story reminded me of Chris Rock’s “How NOT to get yo’ ass whupped by the po-lice” skit he did on his show. The relevant part was “Don’t run. They’re gonna’ catch you eventually, and when they do, you know they’re bringin’ a whuppin’.” It was funny (in a sad way) because it’s true.

    One of the things that jumped out at me on this story was the list of charges that Donno was arrested for: “fleeing police, speeding, reckless driving, disobeying a stop sign, and car theft.”

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